Thursday, April 30, 2009

i'm not letting go

While Dhanno gets ready to climb the Chandrasheela peak,

Banno thumps her way around the 333 metre 'murmur'  mud track, good for the joints,

in the BMC garden in T-Village.

Banno's soul however hovers over Surat station,

waiting for the Delhi-bound August Kranti

that will take Dhanno, her cousins and her friends away on their 12-day trek,

and Banno's soul wants to lie down on the floor of Platform no. 2 or 1,

and trash its hands and feet,

and cry hysterically, "Dhanno, don't go, don't go."

All these years, Banno didn't mind,

almost welcomed Dhanno's holidays with her aunts or cousins,

it gave her some relief from Mummy-dom.

But now, Banno's soul cannot care less about being a wise, kind mother,

letting her little bird fly and all that.

All it wants to do is cling, and cling.

And cling.

21 comments:

shankari said...

This one resonates

:P

Grasshopper said...

Maybe because the time of the birds actual flight is coming near?
I remember my grandmother never expressed as much love and affection for me in childhood as she did when I cam home from the Insti.
The nice part of it is the intensity of the love increases.
Call it attachment, call it clinging, attention need, it is something that deepens your awareness, isn't it?
So carry on and yearn, and write more such heartwrenching poetry.

Banno said...

Shankari, thanks.

Yes, Grasshopper, you've hit the nail on the head. As usual.

Violet said...

This one really moved me.. and thanks for doing the tag! Of all the people I tagged, I really wanted you to do it, just wanted to see how motherhood feels after some 15 odd yrs..

Anonymous said...

hey mom,its nice
but quit making me feel as if i have to start working from tomorrow.
i love you and viveka so much..that i will always be troubling you
love you
bye

memsaab said...

Awwww. Dhanno is lucky to have you for a mom :) Mine pushed me out of the nest as soon as she could, crying: "Fly little bird, be free!"

(but I still trouble her anyway too)

anja said...

I can just imagine what my haalat will be..I feel your pain and love for your little birdie..motherhood is HARD

eve's lungs said...

Don't . That little bird is going to fly right back to you :) Cheer up Banno.

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

omg that reaches out and breaks my heart! dhanno will be back soooooooooon!!!!

@lankr1ta said...

Awww

Sujatha said...

The time is far away for me now, but will come soon enough. When it does, I shall come running to you for advice and a comfy shoulder. Boo hooo.

agent green glass said...

good one banno. nothing you can do so let it go. she'll come back. and its easy for me to say all this. if i was you, i'd probably have been clinging to her rucksack all the way to the peak! so you're doing pretty good. : )

dustedoff said...

Lovely. I'm not a mother myself, but am very close to my mum - and every time I go to meet her (my folks stay in another town) I'm treated like the long-lost child that's finally come home. Does a lot of good to the soul to be loved so much...

shankari said...

You are tagged!

Pleeeease do it.

dipali said...

Many sympathies, Banno. But, believe it or not, once they actually do leave the nest, you are so proud of them that it is easier to 'enjoy' their flight, heartbreaking though it seems!

SUR NOTES said...

the little bird will touch the himalayan peak and fly right back, plotting the path to the next peak.

and boss I am going to be clinging to these words for a long long time.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

This plugged into my abiding concern - how long will she allow me to cuddle her?

J.A.P.

writerzblock said...

Aw...I know that feeling! A couple of weeks back, my 2.5yr old wanted to go cycling (though he doesn't use the pedals but only walks it around!) and resisted every time I tried to hold on to the parent-handle. And then I realised may be he will learn only when I let go. And I did. And he didn't learn. But he had a WHALE of time! We both returned home, happy :-)

writerzblock said...

Wrote this after reading your post, Batul.

http://writerzblock.wordpress.com/2009/05/03/empty-nest-sight-u-in-the-distance/

Rohini said...

I just dropped off my baby to the mother's place for two weeks. I missed him from the minute I boarded the flight and saw other mommies traveling with their ids :(

ammani said...

awwww....

come back, Dhanno. can't bear to see your mum like this.